My test is March 20; one month away. I've been told by sensei that I need to smooth everything out and move with more circular motions. My feet still hurt, so sitting seiza - and especially kneeling in kiza for suwari waza - is painful. There are many suwari waza techniques on my test.
I am very nervous. I am at the point where I do not know if I will even pass my test. When one of our members took his 2nd kyu test, he honestly did not do his techniques particularly well. At the end of his test, our chief instructor explained that sometimes testing gets a student up to a rank which then allows that student to work up to his new rank. I do not believe he was making excuses for the student's rank promotion: I believe the student was deserving of promotion. His dedication and hard work were above reproach. I think that perhaps his promotion was a recognition of that dedication and hard work. It is not my place to say who is deserving and who is not. I am only hoping that my techniques are proficient enough that it is clear to everyone at the test that I am working at a 3rd kyu level. I don't want there to be any questions about whether I deserve it or not.
I am nervous. Very nervous. I would also feel just utterly defeated if I were not to pass my test.
On a bright side, I have been chosen for "Meet a Dojo Member" on our web site. Our instructor asked all the dojo members to answer three questions: When and how did you start Aikido? What made you stay? What do you like about Aikido? I remember answering the questions last summer, then nothing. First there was one student listed, then another. Each one was listed for three or four months. Now it's my turn. There is a great photo of me doing kaitenage in suwari waza. Ironic, isn't it? I have one hell of a time doing suwari waza, and here's this admittedly great photo of me in suwari waza.
